By Jessie Culley, Provisionally Licensed Therapist at Rejuvenate
“When I am stressed out, feel depressed, feel anxious, have big emotions, what is going to make the pain go away the fastest?” This is the question all of us must answer when we are dealing with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. For some, healthy coping skills could be taking a walk, talking to a trusted friend, or “just letting it go” to save ourselves the emotional grief. We choose to cope with what we know, but what if what we know does not work? When children begin to have low self-esteem, self-worth, and tend to think negatively, they start to ruminate (think in a never ended negative loop) for extended periods of time. After a while, it becomes too much for them to hold in and they essentially “explode” and punish themselves looking for a quick way to get their mind off things.
This is where self-harm comes in. Self-harm distracts them from the emotional pain by giving a slight rush. The physical pain almost masks the emotional pain and now they need to think about how to bandage the wound and hide it from others. It is a maladaptive distraction technique that gives a temporary and fake sense of relief.
What are some tell-tale signs that my child might be self-harming? Several things could occur, watch out for the behaviors below:
- Isolation in the room
- Pulling away from social circles or cutting off friendships
- Codependence in romantic relationships
- Downcast mood
- Increased negative thinking
- Wearing long sleeves to cover scars
Common things to watch out for in the home that could help you prevent self-harm for those participating in self-harm or signal that self-harm could be occurring if found in your child’s room could be the following:
- Knives/sharps of any kind
- Razers
- Pencil sharpeners
- Tabs on aluminum cans
- Fake nails
This is just a quick list of things to check your house for if you suspect your young one is self-harming at home. Remember, they are using this as a coping mechanism to help them deal with what they are feeling, thinking, or from things people have said to them. If you suspect your child is self-harming, make sure the above list is put away and have a conversation with them about what is happening in their head and heart. This can be a great way to build your bond and restructure that negative thought they may be carrying that no one cares for them. If the behavior persists or if you see signs that your child is starting to self-harm, it will be a good idea to make an appointment with a provider to help you navigate the thoughts and emotions that are causing discomfort. I would be happy to be a resource for you and your child or maybe yourself while dealing with this difficult time. Let’s collaborate for a better tomorrow!
Jessie Culley has experience working with adolescents ages 11-18 and adults ages 19-65 who are struggling with symptoms related to depression, anxiety, ADHD, Autism, trauma, PTSD, relationship stress, grief and loss, and life transitions.
Contact us today to make an appointment with Jessie Culley Call / Text: 816-761-3944 or email info@rejuvenatekc.com
